Thursday 13

This week's Thursday 13 is: Things that people do that I love. I know, that is sort of an awkward way of expressing this sentiment, and I tried to find another way, but to no avail! I think you'll get it when you read my list.

Source: google.com.au via Jennifer on Pinterest

I love it when...


babies smile at strangers


older people think they are whispering something about
someone else, but they're really not.


people sing along to songs playing in the store


people put their phones away and pay attention to what is going
on right around them


people hold the door for each other


people aren't afraid to laugh out loud, even if they are the only one.


people trip (and don't hurt themselves) and are able to laugh about it


people forgive each other


kids learn something new


babies and kids snuggle up in your lap


husbands or boyfriends reach for their partner's hand, just
because they want to hold it


people have a sense of humor about themselves and don't mind being teased


I get a nice email (or comment on my blog..wink wink) from a
friend or family member

Sunday Thanks: Mom

I woke up this morning at the tail end of a horrible dream.

 I was at my parents' house visiting my mom and some friends. It was Saturday morning and it was time for me to get packed up to head home. There were people everywhere. When I finally got the bathroom cleared out so that I could take a shower, I realized that there was no shower curtain. I wrapped a towel around myself and went out into the hallway to find my mom. It was getting later and later, and soon I would have to be leaving. I only had time for a quick shower, but I couldn't even do that! As I called for my mom, I saw everyone but her. I began to get stressed. I shouted for her, but no answer. She could not be found. And then I woke up, tears in my eyes and a shout caught in my throat.

I have these dreams once in a while. I have since I was a kid. If I am stressed or worried, I have a dream about losing my mom. Sometimes I just can't find her, other times she has died. We've analyzed these dreams over the years and, without fail, I have them when there is a lot on my mind and life feels out of control. They are scary, and they always remind me of what a mess I will be when I really do lose my mom.

Tonight we went to a Mass in memory of my friend's father who passed away suddenly in January. At the time, it was really upsetting. We went to the funeral and did our best to support my friend at that moment, but I fear that maybe we have not done enough. When I think about losing my mom or dad, I really don't know how I will go on. I am afraid of the wreck I will be and I'm afraid that I won't be able to pull myself together. Losing my mom is by far my biggest fear in life. I'm actually starting to get choked up just writing about it.

But, instead of getting upset, I am going to be thankful today. I am going to be thankful that I really have the most amazing mom and dad ever. I know everyone says that, but I really truly have been blessed with my parents. My dad is a pretty classic dad, and he's great. Our relationship has gotten better and better with time. And my mom....I have a hard time putting that woman into words. She is my rock. I have often told James that he's my "favorite," but he's tied with Mom. Besides James, she is the most important person in my world. I absolutely adore her and I know there is no way I would be who I am if she didn't raise me. She has literally saved my life and blessed me in immeasurable ways.

Today is Sunday; the Lord's day. And so, I thank you, Lord, for my mom and for my dad. Please continue to keep them safe and bless us with many years of love and joy with them. And let us not take for granted the gift of each other and the blessing of healthy and happy lives. Amen.

Saturday Still: Smile

I opened a new jar of peanut butter last night and got this:

a SMILE!

There are lots of reasons to smile. It's so much fun, you can even find directions for smiling! We know a lot about smiling, and it's good for everyone!

Something that I like to give with a smile, and is bound to make you smile as well...

Let's Talk About: Obedience

I want to talk about a little something called “obedience” today. When you get engaged, everyone has an opinion about how you should do things—where you should honeymoon, how many people you should invite, where you should have the reception, and, most recently, how you should say your vows.


We were with friends a few weeks ago who are married, so of course they know a few trick of the trade. I was surprised, however, when one of the suggestions was to leave the word “obey” out of our vows. I’m aware that this is the kick these days and I’ve heard in mentioned before, but never at a time in my life when it was something for me to personally consider. Should I leave the word “obey” out of my vows to James? It’s an interesting question, but I am most certain of my answer. No.

No, because I do vow to obey my husband. Shouldn’t we all vow to obey the people that we love and who love us? If I believe that James loves me purely and selflessly, like he does, then I have nothing to fear by obeying him. Now, let’s get something straight—these vows are not about obeying your husband when he tells you to clean the kitchen or stay home with the kids so he can go out with his buddies.

When we vow before God to obey our spouses, we are talking about a much more serious form of obedience. This obedience toward our spouses is about faithfulness, integrity, and trust. If my husband suggests that I behave a certain way or do a certain thing, it is because he loves me, not because he desires to have control over me. And if I love my husband too, and I am certain of his love for me, I know that his direction for me is out of love for me and not control.

Several years ago, I was engaged to my college sweetheart. About 5 months before our wedding, he befriended a young woman and began spending a considerable amount of time with her. We never had rules about spending time with members of the opposite sex because it was never an issue for us. We both had friends of different genders and it was fine. But, this girl was different and I didn’t like her spending time with my fiancé. I asked nicely that they not spend time together, I tried to get to know her, but I still had a nagging feeling. Eventually, I was forced to offer him an ultimatum, and he chose a “friendship” with this girl over our relationship. Trust me, this wasn’t the cause of our breakup, but it was (as my friends like to call it) “the cherry on top.” Not spending time with that young woman at my request would have been obeying me, right? Was I trying to be controlling? No. Was I trying to protect my fiancé and our relationship? Yes.

The obedience that we vow in a marriage is not about control, though I know there are people out there who make it that way. Asking your partner to obey you is two-fold. First, you are asking them to respect you. When I asked my fiancé to stop spending time with another woman, I was asking him to respect my discomfort and put me and our relationship first. Even when you ask your partner to do something for you, by obeying you, they are acknowledging their role in the relationship and respecting what you do for them by doing something in return.

But obedience is also about accountability and expectation. Your partner should have high expectations for you, and they should hold you accountable for your actions. Not so they can control you or harass you, but so that they can celebrate your accomplishments with you and help you to be the most fantastic YOU you can be! When James tells me we’ll go to a movie after I finish a paper for school, he is not patronizing or controlling me. He is helping me to accomplish what I need to do in my life and is then offering to celebrate with me when I’m done! If I obey him, it is not for his gratification, but for the betterment of my own situation. If our expectations for each other come from a place of love, then we are silly NOT to obey each other! Here is this person who has your best intentions at heart telling you how you can be a better version of yourself—obey them!!

Deuteronomy 11:1 says “Love the Lord your God and keep his requirements, his decrees, his laws and his commands always.” Why does God ask for our obedience? Is it to give Him power over us? I’m pretty sure if God wanted power over us, He would just turn us into puppets and control our lives that way. God asks for obedience because He loves us and wants the best for us. He also knows that, by obeying His commandments, we are capable of having lives that are richly blessed and full of peace! Should it not be exactly the same when we obey those on Earth who love us as dearly as God does? If my husband adores me and wants the best for me, I can know that his commands for me are with my best interest in mind.

It is first by simply loving God in return that we are able to obey Him. Think about how easy it is to do something for someone we love. And what is our reason? Simply, we love them! Where there is mutual love there is, by default, obedience!

On our wedding day, I don’t know if we will exchange traditional vows or write our own, but I will not resist vowing to obey my husband. It is our obedience to each other and to our relationship that, I firmly believe, will only bind us closer and enhance our marriage commitment.

Our Engagement

I'm sure you all have been anxiously awaiting the story of how James asked me to be his wife. I've been enjoying my freedom from the semester, and the joy of being newly engaged, so much that I haven't had time to sit down and tell our tale. But, the time has come, so here goes.

It all started Saturday, December 10th. We had planned to head to NYC that morning to see my brother and his family as well as one of our dear friends who live there. I hadn't been feeling great for about a week, and I felt it coming to a head Friday night, but I was intent upon going to New York running nose or not! Well, around 3:00 Saturday morning, I was ready to change my mind. My congestion had moved to my ears, I had a wicked headache, and I was just a mess. We decided to call off our trip.

I spent Saturday recuperating. We went to the doctor where (to no surprise) I was diagnosed with an ear infection, and spent the rest of the day on the couch watching The Help and eating soup.

Sunday came and I was still feeling cruddy. I didn't go to church, but stayed in my pjs again most of the morning. I finally showered and we took a walk around our neighborhood and a drive up into the mountains. We got home in the late afternoon and I slept for a few hours.

When I woke up, I was craving tuna fish, so James made me some and after devouring the entire bowl-full, I felt much much better. Who knew! Tuna!

We decided we would turn on Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, a movie James and I watched together when we first started dating. James asked me to go out to the living room to put it in, and that he would be right out. I got it ready and snuggled up on the couch.

A few minutes later, James emerged from the den with something in his hand. He said, "Look, I got us one more ornament for the tree. Isn't it pretty?"

I could see that it was a silver bell. He handed it to me and I took a better look at it. Suddenly, everything registered! Inscribed on the bell was Will You Marry Me, Jennifer? and my beautiful ring was hanging from the top.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" I started sort of shouting and crying and shaking all at the same time! I hugged my James and after a few tears he got down on one knee (asked me what finger to put the ring on) and asked me to be his wife.

Of course, I said YES!

We interrupt this broadcast...

The next few days are supposed to be all about Holiday Traditions, but this is a quick "commercial" from your sponsor (me) to let you know...

We're engaged!

Full story to follow in a few days:)

  I'm linking up with the little things we do today for a...

  
1. Love is   all you need.

2.   Being in love feels like  a cozy blanket, peace, 100% understanding.

3.  My favorite quote about love is    "I hope you don't mind that I put down in words how wonderful life is, now you're in the world." -Elton John 

4. The most important thing in a relationship is    honesty, communication, mutual respect and friendship.

5.  A "deal breaker" for me in a relationship is    my partner not loving and respecting me in the same way that I do them.

6.  The way I show love in my relationships is   lots of hugs and kisses...and being a good listener.

7.  I love    Fridays--takeout and movies.

Oh to be loved!

In case you were wondering where Cuddles sits while I work on my computer...

Sunday Thanks: Honesty

I'm a big fan of honesty, and I pride myself on being a pretty honest person. Today, James reminded me of how simple honesty can be and how it plays such a big role in our relationship and our ability to stay consistently in love and best friends.

I was washing the dishes and I started thinking about baby names. Now, James and I talk about baby names all the time, and we (and by we I mean James) have already picked out the names of our first baby boy and first baby girl. But, I was thinking about other names today and one of the ones I like was Decklan. I shouted from the kitchen, "What do you think of the name Decklan?"

"Nope," came his response.

"Why not? I sort of like it."

"What's there to like?"

That's my James.

It sounds like a simple story, but to me it's a great way to sum up the way that we interact with each other and the comfort we feel in being honest with each other. I can tell you for a fact that if a past boyfriend had said that to me I would not have been happy. But with James, eh, I know he's just telling me the truth. We don't sugarcoat anything just to make the other person feel happy. We are honest with each other so that we are deeply satisfied, knowing that the other always has our back and our infinite happiness in mind.

And you know what, upon further thought, I don't really like the name Decklan that much anyway...and James probably knew that too.

Source: dominicwilcox.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

Day 5: someone i love

My grandma, Patsy, is and always has been a beautiful woman who I love with all my heart. We have so many fun childhood memories at my Grandma and Grandpa's house in White Plains, NY. Grandma has had Alzheimer's disease for a number of years now, and she has moved from her home to an assisted living facility to a nursing home as the disease has progressed. At this point, she no longer speaks, but she still expresses herself and lets us know that we are loved and our presence is appreciated. My mom sees her almost every day, making sure that she never feels alone or forgotten. Though I wish that she was still able to participate in our lives the way she did when we were younger, I will forever be thankful for her time, patience, laughter, butterfly kisses, care, excitement, lessons, hugs, spaghetti sauce, Easter eggs, card games, beach days, scoldings, overnights, stories, joy, understanding, support and love.

Sunday Thanks: Momma

    I could not let this Sunday pass without saying how thankful I am for my Momma. I know I'm biased, but she is hands-down the best mom in the world. Don't try to argue with with on that! :) Mom has been a mommy for most of her life at this point, and I do believe that it's the role she was born to play in life. She's not only a mom to us, but to every "little person" she meets.

 

Little me and my Momma 

 

     She has worked with toddlers for almost twenty years and, though she is not the "teacher" in the classroom, parents request her! See, they know how amazing she is too! She is not afraid to love and hug and kiss her babies, and she (with my dad, of course) is the reason that the four of us kids are such lovey people.
 My momma is also incredibly giving of her time and resources. She knows what it is to be blessed in so many ways, and she is the first person to share her blessings with others. She volunteers her time within our church and community. She takes a week out of her summer to go on a mission trip with a group of high school students. She is the first to write a check for a family in need or make a donation to a charity or fundraiser. Everyone who meets my mom notices right away how warm and inviting she is. Our home has always been a place that all are welcome to visit and enjoy. Most of my friends and the kids Mom works with call her Mommy D., and that's what she is. She is everyone's mom. On top of it all, my mom is talented, beautiful and (dare I say) sexy. She carries herself beautifully, takes care of her health and her body, and is an all around classy lady. I love her more and more every day and every year. And as I continue to grow up and prepare for the years ahead when I will become a wife and mother, I am so thankful that I will have my Momma, my best friend, at my side.

 Our signature face for photos

"Sunday Thanks": James and Meg

This week I am thankful for my brother, James, and his wife, Meg, who are going to make me an aunt in October!!! This is the first grandbaby for our family and for Meg's family so we are doubly excited (if that is even possible)! I am so thankful for the amazing miracle that is life, and I am already in love.

It all began with a "U-shaped" bean...

...inspiring me to play with my food and show a little love.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Driving

I went home to my parents' house in CT for a few days this week. Being that I am a student again and on winter break, I figured I'd take a few days (that weren't right around Christmas or New Years) to get home, hang out with my mom and dad, and go visit the school that I used to teach at. Well, I headed down on Wednesday morning. My friend, Becky, lives in Naugatuck, CT so when I looked up directions to get there from Albany it had me taking a bunch of non-highway roads. I wrote them all down (along with mile markers to keep track of where I was) and headed out. I wish I had brought my camera because it was a really beautiful drive. It was a little snowy in the morning and there was a stretch through Massachusetts that made me nervous, but otherwise it was great.

Now, notice I said that I wrote the directions. That's right, people, I DO NOT own a GPS. I figure I've gotten along this far without one, I know how to follow directions, and I can read a map--why spend money that I don't have. This is not to say that I don't believe they can be useful. When James and I went out to San Francisco last April we borrowed my sister's GPS because we were renting a car and had no idea where anything was. It was obviously a lot easier and efficient to plug in our destination and know we were heading in the right direction. In fact, when we wanted to find a beach, we searched nearby points-of-interest and discovered this pretty place:

We also borrowed one when we went to Rockport, MA last summer and wanted to be able to explore but, at the end of the day, know we could find our way back to the B&B. For these purposes, I think a GPS is a wonderful idea, but for day-to-day travel and even quick "there and back" trips, write out the directions, use your brain, and figure it out!

While my plan was to stay in Connecticut until this evening, I came back last night to beat the snow that we are supposed to get today. So, I didn't get to go into my old school to see my kids and my friends. It's a big bummer, but I'll have to make plans to get there another day this month. I left home last night a little after 9pm. The drive to Albany is only 2 hours and 15 minutes or so, and I know the drive so well I wasn't worried about driving late.

One of my favorite things to do when I'm driving late at night is to listen to Delilah. I went through a phase where I loved her, then I hated her, and now I'm fairly indifferent. I usually don't agree with her choice of songs to fit the circumstance--James assures me this is because she has to play certain songs during each show, but I still think she could do a better job than she does. At any rate, for me it is the stories that people share that make the show enjoyable. Last night I heard an amazing story about a newspaper reported who, in the early 90's, was going through a divorce with her husband. Around the time that her divorce was becoming final, a story broke out about a local woman who had gone missing. Immediately, the woman assumed that the husband had something to do with it. Sadly, that's probably what most of us would think. As the story progressed, the reporter kept up with it and began to believe the husband's plea of innocence as he continued to spend the next 3 years diligently searching for his wife. The reporter grew to admire this man and often wished to herself, "Why couldn't I have a husband who loves me that much?" Finally, after so many years of uncertainty, a friend of the grieving husband came forward and admitted to killing the man's wife in a jealous rage. At last, the mystery was solved and the husband could begin to find peace. A year or so later the reporter, who had avoided interviewing the husband during the ordeal, called him up to ask him if she could meet him and write his love story. He agreed, they met for coffee and, soon after, were married.

This story amazed me and brought tears to my eyes (not good when you're driving). So, as much as Delilah drives me nuts, I continue to listen for the stories of the hundreds of thousands of people out there who have an amazing story to share.