Addicted to Parenthood

Yesterday, I finished watching the final episode of the second season of "Parenthood." I started watching the show during it's first season and wasn't sold on it right away, but a few weeks ago I was perusing hulu.com and came across it again. Maybe season 2 was just better than season 1, or maybe I just need a little reinforcement that I am not the only one dealing with tough kids (even though they are not my own!) this summer. Regardless, I really, really, really enjoy watching this show--so much so that I got a little addicted to it and was watching two episodes a day. Unfortunately, that meant that the season was over very quickly.

Here's what I like about the show:
1. The characters are real. Of course they are a bit exaggerated--they have to be for entertainment purposes (the same way you wear extra dark makeup in a play)--but their characteristics and personalities are those of real people.
2. There isn't always a happy ending. These characters, all of them parents, deal with real issues in raising their children. From managing playdates, parenting a child with Autism, talking about sex with a teenage daughter...the process and the outcomes are not always tied up in a pretty bow. The emotions are raw and life does not go according to plan.
3. They demonstrate unconditional love. In a media world where the definition of "love" is often defined as a more fleeting emotion, "Parenthood" is about a family where love is sometimes the only thing that holds them together. In their individual nuclear families and within the extend family, problems arise, people make mistakes, and tragedy strikes. But they always love each other through it and come out on the other side.
4. It's just plain funny. While I've teared up plenty of times watching it, I have also laughed out loud. The characters are unique and interesting, and they have great amusing interactions with each other.

I am becoming more and more intrigued by parenthood in general...probably all this time that I'm spending with four kids of varying ages...and  it's nice to see it being portrayed in such a genuine way on television.

Sometimes I worry...

...that I am going to be a mean mom. Weird, right? Let me give you some background. One of the families that I work for have two young children (8 and 5) who do virtually nothing to help around the house. They don't pick up the toys in their rooms, they make a mess of the kitchen floor when they eat dinner, they toss things wherever they like and don't have to pick up, etc. I tried to get the older one to help me bring the towels upstairs one day (because I happen to think that an 8-year-old should be able to help out) and she threw a royal tantrum. Don't even get me started on her mother's response...that's another post! At any rate, I wonder sometimes if my expectations for my future children will be too high. Is it too much to ask for your kids to clean their rooms once a week, empty the dishwasher, set the table, or straighten up the shoes in the hallway. When is it the time to "let them be kids" versus the time to prepare them for life by showing them that they have responsibilities. I'm not suggesting that kids be slaves and do chores all the time, but I do think that a 5-year-old can, and SHOULD, help out around the house. The other family that I babysit for has a 5-year-old who unloads the dishwasher and folds the laundry (with help from me), and does a great job! I'm sorry, but I find nothing wrong with including children in the upkeep of the home, and it is really frustrating to work in a home where that doesn't happen at all! It is probably more frustrating for me as the "cleaning lady" because I am doing the chores that I believe the children should be doing themselves. Picking up an 8-year-old's toys and putting her clothes away, knowing that she is capable of doing it herself, can really piss you off! (That's the second time I've sworn on my blog!) Anyway, what do you think? Am I going to be a bad mom if I expect my kids to do chores and help around the house? Should we just let our kids be kids and worry about responsibility when they actually need it, or is it our job to train them so that they can be successful, respectful and competent adults?

Sunday Thanks: Momma

    I could not let this Sunday pass without saying how thankful I am for my Momma. I know I'm biased, but she is hands-down the best mom in the world. Don't try to argue with with on that! :) Mom has been a mommy for most of her life at this point, and I do believe that it's the role she was born to play in life. She's not only a mom to us, but to every "little person" she meets.

 

Little me and my Momma 

 

     She has worked with toddlers for almost twenty years and, though she is not the "teacher" in the classroom, parents request her! See, they know how amazing she is too! She is not afraid to love and hug and kiss her babies, and she (with my dad, of course) is the reason that the four of us kids are such lovey people.
 My momma is also incredibly giving of her time and resources. She knows what it is to be blessed in so many ways, and she is the first person to share her blessings with others. She volunteers her time within our church and community. She takes a week out of her summer to go on a mission trip with a group of high school students. She is the first to write a check for a family in need or make a donation to a charity or fundraiser. Everyone who meets my mom notices right away how warm and inviting she is. Our home has always been a place that all are welcome to visit and enjoy. Most of my friends and the kids Mom works with call her Mommy D., and that's what she is. She is everyone's mom. On top of it all, my mom is talented, beautiful and (dare I say) sexy. She carries herself beautifully, takes care of her health and her body, and is an all around classy lady. I love her more and more every day and every year. And as I continue to grow up and prepare for the years ahead when I will become a wife and mother, I am so thankful that I will have my Momma, my best friend, at my side.

 Our signature face for photos

Ridiculous, yet Funny

Have you ever been to WhenParentsText.com? Absolutely hilarious! I was laughing so hard last night in my living room that Codie (my roomie) had to ask if everything was okay. I think the dads are the funniest...here are some of my favorites:


DAD: ok. I would love for you to come home but I understand that it just doesn’t happen sometimes. Bought a wheel barow today for home. Pretty excited about that.

ME: I’m coming home this weekend!
DAD: Yes… So is your sister. This is not an intervention is it?

DAD: Subway instead need to get d and c food
ME: D and c food?
DAD: Y, B, and B
ME: What? Abbreviations are not for every word in the language
DAD: Dogs and Cat
ME: haha okay
DAD: If you loved them you’d know their abbreviations

Remember when...

...I used to say that I wanted nine kids? Um, I'm sorry, but that is no longer happening. I am spending this week with the four lovely kiddos that I babysat for last summer. They are on April break, and so am I (though not really, since I am working), so we're spending the week together. Oh. my. goodness. They are tough! They made me cry last summer, so it's not surprising that in the past two days they've already frustrated me several hundred times.

The saving grace is that their parents are AMAZING. Their mom recently took a new job 3 hours away, so she is there all week and only sees them on the weekends. Their dad is playing the single parent role--I have no idea how he does it. I talked to their mom today and it was so refreshing to hear her validate my frustrations with the kids--in fact, she was the one to mention them before I even brought them up. Talk about a mom who knows her kids and is real about who they are!

Between teaching, nannying, and babysitting for the better part of my 25 years, I've learned a lot about kids. And I will be the first to tell you: being a parent is the most difficult job you will ever have! It is 100%, 24/7, until the day you die WORK. But, the rewards are incredibly beautiful. I see it every day that I spend with these kids, and I'm only the babysitter. Sure, they piss you off and make you want to kick something several times a day, but they also hug and love you, look up to you, and are utterly surprised (and impressed) that you can see them sneaking into the snack cabinet even when you look like you're sleeping (yup, I pulled that trick today).

The more I do "parent-y" and grown-up things, the more I appreciate my parents for all that they went through trying to raise us to be good kids. Honestly, it's a wonder more kids aren't more screwed up. Is that pessimistic? I just mean, wow, what a job it is to raise good human beings. But, the fact of the matter is, when you choose to be a parent, that's the job you're taking on: you are the creator (well, of course, after God) of this little human being, and it's your JOB to make sure they turn out decent. Jeez, makes you think twice about parenthood, huh?

I was recently babysitting for another family that I've been working with this year, and I ran into one of those inevitable situations: an argument with an 8-year-old. Oy! She wanted to know "Why?" "Why do I have to eat my fruit instead of a cookie?" "Why do I have to put the dishes away?" "Why do I need to wash my hands before snack?" Should I continue? No, I'll spare you. You get the jist because you've heard it before. But, I bet you haven't heard my response!! All of these questions absolutely call for the "Because I said so" or the "Don't argue with me," but I went with something different, and it worked. I responded: "Because it is my job to make sure you being a good person and (insert your command here) will help to make you one." I guess it sounds sort of cheesy, but luckily, it's just the kind of cheese that kids like. Because they get it. Because you are giving them a response that means something. Don't assume that an 8-year-old (or even a 4-year-old) isn't smart enough for a real response and intelligent conversation.

So, when all is said and done, I may not want nine kids anymore, but I am psyched to start (someday) the most important job I'll ever have.