Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Sometimes I worry...
...that I am going to be a mean mom. Weird, right? Let me give you some background. One of the families that I work for have two young children (8 and 5) who do virtually nothing to help around the house. They don't pick up the toys in their rooms, they make a mess of the kitchen floor when they eat dinner, they toss things wherever they like and don't have to pick up, etc. I tried to get the older one to help me bring the towels upstairs one day (because I happen to think that an 8-year-old should be able to help out) and she threw a royal tantrum. Don't even get me started on her mother's response...that's another post! At any rate, I wonder sometimes if my expectations for my future children will be too high. Is it too much to ask for your kids to clean their rooms once a week, empty the dishwasher, set the table, or straighten up the shoes in the hallway. When is it the time to "let them be kids" versus the time to prepare them for life by showing them that they have responsibilities. I'm not suggesting that kids be slaves and do chores all the time, but I do think that a 5-year-old can, and SHOULD, help out around the house. The other family that I babysit for has a 5-year-old who unloads the dishwasher and folds the laundry (with help from me), and does a great job! I'm sorry, but I find nothing wrong with including children in the upkeep of the home, and it is really frustrating to work in a home where that doesn't happen at all! It is probably more frustrating for me as the "cleaning lady" because I am doing the chores that I believe the children should be doing themselves. Picking up an 8-year-old's toys and putting her clothes away, knowing that she is capable of doing it herself, can really piss you off! (That's the second time I've sworn on my blog!) Anyway, what do you think? Am I going to be a bad mom if I expect my kids to do chores and help around the house? Should we just let our kids be kids and worry about responsibility when they actually need it, or is it our job to train them so that they can be successful, respectful and competent adults?
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Love Letter
Last week, one of the little buggers I babysit for was giving me a REALLY hard time. He's 10, and he was being rude and mouthing off to me and being otherwise difficult to be around. I tried talking to him, talking to his mom & dad, etc. Finally, we had an awful day Friday and I told his dad that I was at my wits end--I just didn't know where to go with him. Dad promised he would take care of it.
Yesterday, I received a call from Mom saying that she thought the issue was nipped in the bud and that Little A should be much better behaved this week. She also told me that A had written me an apology letter that he was to give me this week. She went on to say that the letter would clearly explain A's behavior. Here's the letter:
Dear Miss Jenn
I'm sorry for talkin back and being rude to you. That is why I'm writing this note because my mom told me to because I was so mean to you. I just don't know how to talk to you. You see, I don't have any girl friends so that's why I'm mean to you. But I don't want to be mean. I'm just so confused. I just don't know how to act in front of a girl who's older than me. The point is, I don't know anyone who's a girl that is my friend. I was also mad yesterday.
From, A
How freakin' cute is that? Yes, a 10-year-old boy has a crush on me--he doesn't know how to act in front of me! Needless to say, with this new insight I've got a soft spot for this guy and today went a lot smoother. This letter is just one of the many reasons I love kids!
Yesterday, I received a call from Mom saying that she thought the issue was nipped in the bud and that Little A should be much better behaved this week. She also told me that A had written me an apology letter that he was to give me this week. She went on to say that the letter would clearly explain A's behavior. Here's the letter:
Dear Miss Jenn
I'm sorry for talkin back and being rude to you. That is why I'm writing this note because my mom told me to because I was so mean to you. I just don't know how to talk to you. You see, I don't have any girl friends so that's why I'm mean to you. But I don't want to be mean. I'm just so confused. I just don't know how to act in front of a girl who's older than me. The point is, I don't know anyone who's a girl that is my friend. I was also mad yesterday.
From, A
How freakin' cute is that? Yes, a 10-year-old boy has a crush on me--he doesn't know how to act in front of me! Needless to say, with this new insight I've got a soft spot for this guy and today went a lot smoother. This letter is just one of the many reasons I love kids!
Monday, April 25, 2011
Sunday Thanks: The Innocence of Children
I do have a lot more that I want to say about Easter, but for now I saw this video and wanted to share it with you because I have been thinking a lot about the sweetness of little children and the way that they love Jesus so unconditionally and without doubt. Though I'm saying this a day late...Happy Easter!
Jesus Christ is Risen! Hallelujah!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Remember when...
...I used to say that I wanted nine kids? Um, I'm sorry, but that is no longer happening. I am spending this week with the four lovely kiddos that I babysat for last summer. They are on April break, and so am I (though not really, since I am working), so we're spending the week together. Oh. my. goodness. They are tough! They made me cry last summer, so it's not surprising that in the past two days they've already frustrated me several hundred times.
The saving grace is that their parents are AMAZING. Their mom recently took a new job 3 hours away, so she is there all week and only sees them on the weekends. Their dad is playing the single parent role--I have no idea how he does it. I talked to their mom today and it was so refreshing to hear her validate my frustrations with the kids--in fact, she was the one to mention them before I even brought them up. Talk about a mom who knows her kids and is real about who they are!
Between teaching, nannying, and babysitting for the better part of my 25 years, I've learned a lot about kids. And I will be the first to tell you: being a parent is the most difficult job you will ever have! It is 100%, 24/7, until the day you die WORK. But, the rewards are incredibly beautiful. I see it every day that I spend with these kids, and I'm only the babysitter. Sure, they piss you off and make you want to kick something several times a day, but they also hug and love you, look up to you, and are utterly surprised (and impressed) that you can see them sneaking into the snack cabinet even when you look like you're sleeping (yup, I pulled that trick today).
The more I do "parent-y" and grown-up things, the more I appreciate my parents for all that they went through trying to raise us to be good kids. Honestly, it's a wonder more kids aren't more screwed up. Is that pessimistic? I just mean, wow, what a job it is to raise good human beings. But, the fact of the matter is, when you choose to be a parent, that's the job you're taking on: you are the creator (well, of course, after God) of this little human being, and it's your JOB to make sure they turn out decent. Jeez, makes you think twice about parenthood, huh?
I was recently babysitting for another family that I've been working with this year, and I ran into one of those inevitable situations: an argument with an 8-year-old. Oy! She wanted to know "Why?" "Why do I have to eat my fruit instead of a cookie?" "Why do I have to put the dishes away?" "Why do I need to wash my hands before snack?" Should I continue? No, I'll spare you. You get the jist because you've heard it before. But, I bet you haven't heard my response!! All of these questions absolutely call for the "Because I said so" or the "Don't argue with me," but I went with something different, and it worked. I responded: "Because it is my job to make sure you being a good person and (insert your command here) will help to make you one." I guess it sounds sort of cheesy, but luckily, it's just the kind of cheese that kids like. Because they get it. Because you are giving them a response that means something. Don't assume that an 8-year-old (or even a 4-year-old) isn't smart enough for a real response and intelligent conversation.
So, when all is said and done, I may not want nine kids anymore, but I am psyched to start (someday) the most important job I'll ever have.
The saving grace is that their parents are AMAZING. Their mom recently took a new job 3 hours away, so she is there all week and only sees them on the weekends. Their dad is playing the single parent role--I have no idea how he does it. I talked to their mom today and it was so refreshing to hear her validate my frustrations with the kids--in fact, she was the one to mention them before I even brought them up. Talk about a mom who knows her kids and is real about who they are!
Between teaching, nannying, and babysitting for the better part of my 25 years, I've learned a lot about kids. And I will be the first to tell you: being a parent is the most difficult job you will ever have! It is 100%, 24/7, until the day you die WORK. But, the rewards are incredibly beautiful. I see it every day that I spend with these kids, and I'm only the babysitter. Sure, they piss you off and make you want to kick something several times a day, but they also hug and love you, look up to you, and are utterly surprised (and impressed) that you can see them sneaking into the snack cabinet even when you look like you're sleeping (yup, I pulled that trick today).
The more I do "parent-y" and grown-up things, the more I appreciate my parents for all that they went through trying to raise us to be good kids. Honestly, it's a wonder more kids aren't more screwed up. Is that pessimistic? I just mean, wow, what a job it is to raise good human beings. But, the fact of the matter is, when you choose to be a parent, that's the job you're taking on: you are the creator (well, of course, after God) of this little human being, and it's your JOB to make sure they turn out decent. Jeez, makes you think twice about parenthood, huh?
I was recently babysitting for another family that I've been working with this year, and I ran into one of those inevitable situations: an argument with an 8-year-old. Oy! She wanted to know "Why?" "Why do I have to eat my fruit instead of a cookie?" "Why do I have to put the dishes away?" "Why do I need to wash my hands before snack?" Should I continue? No, I'll spare you. You get the jist because you've heard it before. But, I bet you haven't heard my response!! All of these questions absolutely call for the "Because I said so" or the "Don't argue with me," but I went with something different, and it worked. I responded: "Because it is my job to make sure you being a good person and (insert your command here) will help to make you one." I guess it sounds sort of cheesy, but luckily, it's just the kind of cheese that kids like. Because they get it. Because you are giving them a response that means something. Don't assume that an 8-year-old (or even a 4-year-old) isn't smart enough for a real response and intelligent conversation.
So, when all is said and done, I may not want nine kids anymore, but I am psyched to start (someday) the most important job I'll ever have.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
