Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Sometimes I worry...
...that I am going to be a mean mom. Weird, right? Let me give you some background. One of the families that I work for have two young children (8 and 5) who do virtually nothing to help around the house. They don't pick up the toys in their rooms, they make a mess of the kitchen floor when they eat dinner, they toss things wherever they like and don't have to pick up, etc. I tried to get the older one to help me bring the towels upstairs one day (because I happen to think that an 8-year-old should be able to help out) and she threw a royal tantrum. Don't even get me started on her mother's response...that's another post! At any rate, I wonder sometimes if my expectations for my future children will be too high. Is it too much to ask for your kids to clean their rooms once a week, empty the dishwasher, set the table, or straighten up the shoes in the hallway. When is it the time to "let them be kids" versus the time to prepare them for life by showing them that they have responsibilities. I'm not suggesting that kids be slaves and do chores all the time, but I do think that a 5-year-old can, and SHOULD, help out around the house. The other family that I babysit for has a 5-year-old who unloads the dishwasher and folds the laundry (with help from me), and does a great job! I'm sorry, but I find nothing wrong with including children in the upkeep of the home, and it is really frustrating to work in a home where that doesn't happen at all! It is probably more frustrating for me as the "cleaning lady" because I am doing the chores that I believe the children should be doing themselves. Picking up an 8-year-old's toys and putting her clothes away, knowing that she is capable of doing it herself, can really piss you off! (That's the second time I've sworn on my blog!) Anyway, what do you think? Am I going to be a bad mom if I expect my kids to do chores and help around the house? Should we just let our kids be kids and worry about responsibility when they actually need it, or is it our job to train them so that they can be successful, respectful and competent adults?
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Absolutely, most definitely, without a doubt, no question, (insert other affirmative words here) should children be expected to help out around the house! My 4 year old (almost 5 but he's been helping consistently since he turned 4) is expected to clear his plate, pick up his toys, make sure his shoes and clothes are put away, etc. and he doesn't complain about it because he knows that he has to. Yes, sometimes he needs a reminder, but he's not even 5 yet. Even my almost 2 year old helps out with unloading the dishwasher. She hands each thing to us and we put it away but she loves to help out and we make it a game. Kids that don't help out are in for a rude awakening when they get older. Chores teach responsibility and respect for people and things. It also teaches priorities (clear your plate before you go play a game).
I don't expect my son to do EVERYTHING but I expect him to make an effort. He knows I'm happy to help him clean up the toy room as long as he's helping too and is making an effort. Otherwise, he knows I'm not lifting a finger to help him. And you know what, he does it and at the end he tells me he loves me! I don't think that makes me a mean mom! And if it does, I'll take it!
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